wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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