You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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