i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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