Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
