I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
