We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
