Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
