i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
