Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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