He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Blood and glitter go together right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can I color on your dick again?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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