I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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