HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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