i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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