imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
