His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
