Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
