SEEEEXXX PLEASE
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
