I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
