Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
