At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
