You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
