At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
