Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
