Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
