I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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