I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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