i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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