I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
