Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize