Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
