i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
