i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
