I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Couch. On fire.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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