do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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