I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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