If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
