so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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