Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
