Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
