Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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