butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
