nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
