Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
