Whod you bang
I wish I could punch you in the face.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
