we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
