The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
