why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
