Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
