Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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