I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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